hmm...

i find myself questiong everything around me . why do we hold on to our lives when were going to die eventually. why do we fight for what will eventually be lost anyways? I really do hope that this is really just my teenage hormones fucking up my mind, but im not so sure anymore. Ive always had questions like this is my life. Even when i was 8 years old i still have memories of asking my parents why we go to church and if they really believed that this God person existed.

I try and keep myself away from religon , it usually just brings up memories of a time earlier in my life when I diden't have to question anything. I simply lived though the experiences of those around me. A time of blissful ignorance that i believe we all long to go back too. But as i think about it more i cannot find a reason why i would want to go back to that time. Even if i did enjoy that time , it was out of ignorance of the world, and i dont think i could intentionally lower myself to that anymore. Its not an issue of pride, i just do not think i could stand for anything anymore if i was to lower myself down anymore.