Every day I stop and I have to think to myself why I continue existing. I carry myself of with a bizarre hate for life , but curious to where it will go. I'm not suicidal , but I find no reason to live, funny no? and not the least bit ironic.

Sitting in this pitch black room at 3 in the morning makes me wonder what is going to come of this life. My academic side says the skys the limit , whereas my dark side says theres nothing for me. I do have to agree with the pessimistic on this , I could not stand the routines of the "white picket-fence" lifestyle. Thinks need to be constantly changeing , wheels within wheels. Something that can make us think and react with the greatest pride.

Knowing of the perfect society we all hope to have , I see how much it will never come to pass. Humans are in themselves creatures of habit, finding comfort in their patterns. But , chaos is where everyone can truely show their charicter and become more powerful then ever before. Is there nothing in this world that can really be acomplished without the help of another?

Self-reliance is key to our world , to be masters of our own domain , as well as others. We must know what we are capable of and know how we can use that to infulence others.